Recurrent Collapse

by Kiande Amedha

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1.
When you lose the will you fight not tomorrow When you lose your spot alright and just can’t go on When you find it so hard to open your eyes and look at yourself to see exactly what you’ve missed I never told you fell in the water Climbing back out wasn’t an option It’s like no time has passed a shadow you no longer cast I never told you fell in the water Climbing back out wasn’t an option It’s like no time has passed a shadow you no longer cast and I’m getting out We are not dead We are still here They can’t kill us all That’s their greatest fear We persevere Rolled with the punches Now I got the spins & while I’m taking my own side I am not a man When I’m lost I feel like my skin turns out right in Turn across me cause you haven’t seen nothing yet Burn some bridges is always what you said There you go now second guess When you lose the will you fight not tomorrow When you lose your spot alright and just can’t go on When you find it so hard to open your eyes and look at yourself to see exactly where you went I wish I could tell you in a very descriptive list & have every point of intention coming directly for your neck. You’re obsessed with hierarchy that doesn’t even exist If a fool is what I am, a fool is what I’ll be But at least I’m not another fish Swimming down the stream with all the other fish ALL THE OTHER FISH
2.
A fire that can be fought but only stomped and made to dim It’s like I’m trying to fight the ocean but I’m convinced that I can win & the fire is always creeping ready to impose its will and just like that ocean, it can be calm or it may kill Come celebrate at the death parade There’s no shelter from the rain time gets lost in the waves buried and hard to find while we hold onto what is real As we insist that we are fine we emerge from the shadows Older from the weight of loss Somethings you just can’t get over But we adjust and it’s enough And much like the fire I’m stubborn and love to burn At times that means bridges At times that means the world Taught by a dying breed Step aside, it’s now our turn And for everything we were taught There’s twice as much to unlearn
3.
Saeculum 04:30
We don't need to paint faces on shadows Or give them more sharp teeth We've plenty of wolves prowling around Wearing the clothes of sheep Abolishing our human rights Arresting us for trying to fight We don't need another enemy We just need help building the guillotine. Could never just accept it Like it’s a riddle or code They dare not speak of it Yet everybody knows That uneasiness we couldn’t shake Even as a child Everyone’s in on it Everyone’s a liar That’s why doctors have a bottom line And the corrupt remain on top Why mental health is for profit And why we’re killed by the cops They rather protect the banks Than the forests A dystopian Hollywood Celebrated with twelve shots (One two, they're coming for you Three four(for) being houseless & poor Five six, better not get sick Hospitals we can't afford Wealth in houses of the rich Rules made behind closed doors) They say: “I’m celebrating thanksgiving but not in THAT way” (if I had a say I’d put you in the worst place) like you literally can’t find any other day to be thankful for the friends or the family you hate Oh, I I wish I had the words to tell you what you need to hear & maybe some you don’t
4.
“You're letting everyone down" That's the voice in your head, it says you're incapable Letting the fire go out When was the last time you felt joy? When was the last time you felt joy? Caught in a trap, sinking deep into the mire Weighted & tired - weighted & tired Try to climb out / slip further down / lose hope Lean into doubt / call out, make no sound Try to climb out / slip further down / lose hope Lean into doubt / call out, make no sound Endebted, ensnared: try to climb out Chained & impaired / no way to climb out/Like crabs in a bucket frogs in a pot Crabs in a bucket or frogs in a pot It's heavy It's too much I'd rather just give up (when you fall down) (If it's heavy) (If it's too much, you can call out) It’s heavy It’s too much I’d rather just give up What happens if I give up? Caught in a trap sinking deep into the mire Weighted & tired weighted & tired Darkness surrounds, digging deeper underground Screaming no sound screaming no sound What happens if I show you the dark? Will you still love all of me? What happens if I show you the dark? Will you still love me if I show you the bad parts?
5.
Cadavers 03:38
I was lost in a daze growing up in the Land of the free I was afraid Because nothing is what it seems And sooner or later we all asleep alone A long list of shortcomings From which we’ve grown It’s easy to get lost in this sea We’re attacked at all angles Because nothing is What it seems Our lives are wasted Cadavers in the basement And we’re falling Falling apart Looking for endings Our lines are written in the sand Arrest us the second we take to the streets Bleeding taxpayers like a fiscal leech With guns more important than students Queer kids arrested for living their lives Doctors arrested for helping their citizens Your blood runs green and you’re bleeding out And everyone knows it You poison the rivers, the lakes & the sea Burn & make toxic the air that we breathe You salt the earth & cut down the trees But I'm forced to grow the seed within me Nevermind that I don't want it That my reproductive system's rotten Or the risk that I could die carrying my own begotten Fascists marching freely in the streets Is this AmeriKKK or Nazi Germany? Our lives are wasted Cadavers in the basement We’re falling apart Looking for the endings Our lines are in the sand

about

We played our first show in late February of 2023 and it’s been an absolute whirlwind of a ride since to get to this point.

This was recorded in June by Zach Miller of Landmine Studios / Noise War Sound in Ewing, NJ and mastered by Will Killingsworth of Dead Air Studios. The artwork is by Rio Oka (IG: artworkforsale.666)

These five songs encompass our debut released on Friday, October the 13th. The USA tape release is being handled by Jean Scene and in November they’ll be sending it to the presses as a one sided 12” vinyl. Furthermore, BSDJ will be simultaneously releasing it on tape in Japan - absolutely wild bat shit stuff.

Thank you to everyone that’s believed in us and made us feel welcome in this weirdo hardcore scene we’ve found ourselves a part of.

credits

released October 13, 2023

Kiande Amedha is:

Hannah (they/them) guitar & vox
Matt (he/him) drums & vox
Mark (they/them) guitar & vox
Phylix (they/them) bass

Thank you to Eric for playing our first six shows and for playing on this EP.

Recorded and mixed by: Zach Miller of Noise War / Landmine Studios
Mastered by: Will Killingsworth of Dead Air Studios
Artwork by: Rio Oka

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Kiande Amedha Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Post hardcore / skramz from Philly
Album out now on Jean Scene
🎤🖤👽🛸🏳️‍⚧️


📸: Dove

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